Remember to keep ideas orderly; state requests before justifications, answers before explana- tions, conclusions before discussions, summaries before details, and the general before the specific. Delay your main point to soften bad news or to introduce a controversial proposal, but don’t delay routinely. Readers, like listeners, are put off by people who take forever to get to the point. To end most letters, just stop. Reading slows with every glance from the text to a reference citation. Use only those references that bear directly on the subject at hand. Avoid unnecessary or complicated references. Reading letters that overuse references is like driving in reverse through alphabet soup. If you do use references, be sure to mention in the text any reference cited in the reference block. List references in the reference block by following the order of their appearance in the text. When writing a response to an earlier com- munication, subordinate it to your main point. Don’t waste the opening—the strongest place in a letter—by merely summarizing a reference or saying you received or reviewed something. Example: Reference (a) recommended the re- establishment of training in the field of transportation manage- ment. Reinstitution of this train- ing is strongly supported. Better: We strongly support the recom- mendation in reference (a) to re-establish transportation manage- ment training. When writing, use short paragraphs; long paragraphs cause main ideas to get lost. Cover one topic completely before starting another; but keep paragraphs short, roughly four or five sentences. Now and then, you may use a one- sentence paragraph to highlight an important idea. Short paragraphs are especially important at the start of letters because readers become dis- couraged if you start out with long paragraphs. A paragraph may need a topic sentence, or it may not. The topic sentence of a paragraph is like the main point of a letter; both are general statements that you develop later. Even though you could write a short and simple letter as one unbroken paragraph, divide it for ease of reading. So far we have talked about structuring letters and paragraphs to call attention to important ideas. Next, we will talk about four ways to avoid sentences that mumble. 1. Subordinate, or reemphasize, minor ideas. In other words, place them in dependent clauses rather than in the main (or required) part of the sentence. Besides clarifying the relationship between ideas, subordination prevents the overuse of and, the weakest of all conjunctions. Example: The naval station exchange uses a similar contractor service and saves its patrons about 15 percent. (Two ideas presented in two independent clauses as equally important.) Better: By using a similar contractor service, the naval station exchange saves its patrons about 15 percent. (One idea—using a similar con- tractor service—presented in de- pendent clause as less important than the idea presented in main part of the sentence.) 2. Place ideas deliberately. Start and finish a sentence any way you like, but keep in mind that ideas gain emphasis when they appear at either end. Putting an idea in the middle causes it to lose emphasis. Example: We have determined that moving the computer as shown in enclosure (1) would allow room for another cabinet to be installed. Better: Moving the computer as shown in enclosure (1) would allow room for another cabinet. 3. Use more parallelism. Express two or more equally important ideas in similar words and similar constructions. Parallelism saves words, clarifies ideas, and provides balance. Parallelism means that when you use a coordinating con- junction (and, but, nor, yet), nouns, adjectives, dependent clauses, and so on, should match in each part of the sentence. They should have the same grammatical form and structure. Example: A good writer must be precise and have originality. (Precise is an adjective; originality is a noun.) Better: A good writer must be precise and original. (Both precise and original are adjectives.) 2-47